Dear Matt,
This weekend is a big day for sales, being that it is Presidents Day weekend, so I think our time is up. You and I have lain around together for 15 years now and I’ve been perfectly content sleeping with you. You have not caused me one ache or pain, so you see I’m not dumping you for either of our sakes but rather for my husbands. You know, he’s that guy that sleeps with us. He’s not too fond of you because you tend to be a pain in his neck... and back…and side. I’ve stalled this day for almost 10 years now but his suffering is wearing me down and he’s moved to the couch. I have been forced with the choice between you Matt and my dear husband and I’ve chosen my husband. I’m sure you understand and I’m sure some chick or rat as it may be, will get perfectly good use out of you.
Thank you for all of your support over the years and for all of the wonderful memories. I never would have been able to sleep as well as I did with out you in my life.
With much respect and best wishes,
Swoozy
I love your letters to your various homegoods...they are so funny!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that you and Matt have to part ways..... 10 years is a long time to end a relationship.
ReplyDeleteI know, so sad:( but it really is an unhealthy relationship ;) Looks like Matt has a while longer yet. Nate and I never got out this last weekend to shop around.
ReplyDelete