"Let go of it Hoover! Let...it...GO!" with one last yank the sock gave way and shot out of Hoover's mouth over Swoozy's head and landed on the living room floor in tatters. She had asked the kids to make sure there were no toys or socks on the floor so Hoover wouldn't eat them but she forgot to mention looking under the furniture. Sure enough Hoover found it for them.
"Oh, another sock for the trash," Swoozy said with a sigh. "Bad Hoover," She said as she shook her finger at Hoover. Sometimes Hoover could eat up things that were not good for him like lego's, pennies, book bag straps, scarves, nails and one time a ping pong ball. The ping pong ball was shoved into him by a child and Swoozy didn't even notice until Hoover started to act funny the next day. Her husband wanted to get rid of Hoover but Swoozy was clever and used a hammer to extract the ball after it was deemed unremovable. It worked out just fine and Hoover wasn't harmed in the process.
Hoover, unlike the ones before him was proved to be reliable and fit very nicely in the household. He stayed in his various corners never complaining and when asked to perform he performed his best. He did well when the children played with him, never biting or running them over. Yes, he was a good little Hoover.
This explains why Hoover was so confused and sad when placed out on the curb one late Sunday night. He sat out there all night on the cold curb. In the morning a hand grabbed him off the curb and took him away. Hoover never saw his replacement brought in because it was small and round and named Roomba.
Roomba was a newer version of himself and boasted less work for the homeowner. So, out with the old and in with the new. Swoozy was sad to see Hoover go but was happy to see a passerby take Hoover home with him, instead of the Monday morning collector taking him away as trash. She would also be happy to know that Hoover was taken to a happy home filled with children that liked to sit on him as he was running around atop the carpets.
**In reality Hoover still lives with Swoozy and Swoozy would never dream of owning Roomba**
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Friday, January 02, 2009
A Short Story (it's fiction I swear)
Mrs. Refrigerator
Swoozy opens her refrigerator door and scouts out the creamer, there it is on the top shelf behind the sticky jar of strawberry jelly and beside the empty pickle jar. She pushes the unwanted objects out of the way with one hand and grabs the creamer with the other. Anxious for her cup of coffee this chilly morning she shakes the creamer. What’s this? No sloshing? No nothing? She lifts the carton up and down feeling its weight. It certainly was not empty. Swoozy sighed heavily and turned a scowling glare towards the refrigerator, for it has done it again!
“Listen Mrs. Refigerator and listen carefully.” Swoozy demanded.
“I am sick and tired of you changing your own temperature! I’ve had to deal with frozen milk, creamer, juices and you’ve even started cracking my eggs. Why are you doing this to me?” Swoozy asked this not expecting an answer, after all she wasn’t crazy and she didn’t really think a refrigerator could talk, but perhaps for this reason or because she gave her refrigerator a name; the refrigerator talked back.
“You don’t have to shout at me you know, I’m right here and if I were you I would be careful of how you talk to me. I do hold all of your food you know,” chortled Mrs. Refrigerator.
Swoozy’s mouth dropped and she looked around the kitchen and found she was the only one there. Before she could say anything the refrigerator talked again or more like rattled.
“Perhaps I wouldn’t freeze your food if you wouldn’t slam my doors so much, I’ve actually come up with a list of things you should do to keep me running smoothly and not freezing your creamer and such. I’m sorry it had to come to this but you weren’t listening to me, but now I see I have your attention.”
Before Swoozy’s eyes the magnetic alphabet letters began to move and formed a list on Mrs. Refrigerator’s door. It read as follows:
Don’t leave sticky jars on my shelving, that’s disgusting.
Do not stand with door’s open searching for snacks. It lets all the cold air out which makes me work harder and I’m too old for that.
Do not shove and squeeze frozen foods up top, I happen to know you have a perfectly good freezer in the basement.
Keep your children out because they constantly turn my knobs. It might help if you didn’t tell them there was a little man turning the light on and off.
There really is NO little man turning the lights on and off.
Check the crispers (those are the things that hold your fruits and veggies) for moldy grapes and spills.
I would like an open box of Baking Powder on my shelf.
Finally, don’t let your leftovers become “suspicious” it smells awful.
Swoozy managed to say, “Okay, Mrs. Refrigerator I will keep all of those things in mind, I’ll even get the baking powder out for you right now.” Swoozy took the baking powder out of the baking cabinet, half expecting it to tell her to give it back, and slowly opened the refrigerator’s door. She quickly placed it on the top shelf and pulled her arm out even faster.
“For goodness sakes I’m not going to bite,” said Mrs. Refrigerator.
“Sorry,” said Swoozy
After a moment of thought Swoozy worked up enough nerve to ask Mrs. Refrigerator a question, “So does this mean we’ll be talking from now on or….” Swoozy trailed off not knowing exactly what to ask a refrigerator.
There was nothing but the humming of the refrigerator to answer her. She waited for a few minutes before turning her back to the counter and pouring her creamer. “That’s strange it’s not frozen anymore,” She thought.
Swoozy spent all day keeping what happened to herself and thinking maybe it had all been a dream, but those pesky letters were still arranged into that list. When her husband came home he read the list out loud and laughed. With some hope she asked, “Did you make that list hunny?”
“Don’t be silly Swoozy, I know you did it. I think it’s great you want to take better care of our Fridge” He said.
Swoozy sunk back down into her chair and said, “Oh yeah, silly me. I was just teasing.”
For years afterward Swoozy fussed over Mrs. Refrigerator. There was never a cleaner refrigerator than Mrs. Refrigerator. Swoozy’s husband and children were reprimanded many a time for disobeying the list that never moved off of the Refrigerator door. If a child rearranged the letters it wasn’t long after they left the kitchen that the letters moved themselves back in order. Everyone assumed it was Swoozy that put them back but only she and Mrs. Refrigerator knew the truth of it. Family often wondered why Swoozy never wanted to replace her refrigerator for a new one. It was partly out of fear and partly because she reasoned that Mrs. Refrigerator was decent enough and who knew what a new refrigerator might be like. It wasn’t until Swoozy was an old woman living in a retirement home (Where there were no refrigerator’s except in the cafeteria kitchen) when she finally told her secret. Her family laughed it off as a silly joke from an old bored woman, but Swoozy knew the truth and was happy to finally tell her tale.
Swoozy opens her refrigerator door and scouts out the creamer, there it is on the top shelf behind the sticky jar of strawberry jelly and beside the empty pickle jar. She pushes the unwanted objects out of the way with one hand and grabs the creamer with the other. Anxious for her cup of coffee this chilly morning she shakes the creamer. What’s this? No sloshing? No nothing? She lifts the carton up and down feeling its weight. It certainly was not empty. Swoozy sighed heavily and turned a scowling glare towards the refrigerator, for it has done it again!
“Listen Mrs. Refigerator and listen carefully.” Swoozy demanded.
“I am sick and tired of you changing your own temperature! I’ve had to deal with frozen milk, creamer, juices and you’ve even started cracking my eggs. Why are you doing this to me?” Swoozy asked this not expecting an answer, after all she wasn’t crazy and she didn’t really think a refrigerator could talk, but perhaps for this reason or because she gave her refrigerator a name; the refrigerator talked back.
“You don’t have to shout at me you know, I’m right here and if I were you I would be careful of how you talk to me. I do hold all of your food you know,” chortled Mrs. Refrigerator.
Swoozy’s mouth dropped and she looked around the kitchen and found she was the only one there. Before she could say anything the refrigerator talked again or more like rattled.
“Perhaps I wouldn’t freeze your food if you wouldn’t slam my doors so much, I’ve actually come up with a list of things you should do to keep me running smoothly and not freezing your creamer and such. I’m sorry it had to come to this but you weren’t listening to me, but now I see I have your attention.”
Before Swoozy’s eyes the magnetic alphabet letters began to move and formed a list on Mrs. Refrigerator’s door. It read as follows:
Don’t leave sticky jars on my shelving, that’s disgusting.
Do not stand with door’s open searching for snacks. It lets all the cold air out which makes me work harder and I’m too old for that.
Do not shove and squeeze frozen foods up top, I happen to know you have a perfectly good freezer in the basement.
Keep your children out because they constantly turn my knobs. It might help if you didn’t tell them there was a little man turning the light on and off.
There really is NO little man turning the lights on and off.
Check the crispers (those are the things that hold your fruits and veggies) for moldy grapes and spills.
I would like an open box of Baking Powder on my shelf.
Finally, don’t let your leftovers become “suspicious” it smells awful.
Swoozy managed to say, “Okay, Mrs. Refrigerator I will keep all of those things in mind, I’ll even get the baking powder out for you right now.” Swoozy took the baking powder out of the baking cabinet, half expecting it to tell her to give it back, and slowly opened the refrigerator’s door. She quickly placed it on the top shelf and pulled her arm out even faster.
“For goodness sakes I’m not going to bite,” said Mrs. Refrigerator.
“Sorry,” said Swoozy
After a moment of thought Swoozy worked up enough nerve to ask Mrs. Refrigerator a question, “So does this mean we’ll be talking from now on or….” Swoozy trailed off not knowing exactly what to ask a refrigerator.
There was nothing but the humming of the refrigerator to answer her. She waited for a few minutes before turning her back to the counter and pouring her creamer. “That’s strange it’s not frozen anymore,” She thought.
Swoozy spent all day keeping what happened to herself and thinking maybe it had all been a dream, but those pesky letters were still arranged into that list. When her husband came home he read the list out loud and laughed. With some hope she asked, “Did you make that list hunny?”
“Don’t be silly Swoozy, I know you did it. I think it’s great you want to take better care of our Fridge” He said.
Swoozy sunk back down into her chair and said, “Oh yeah, silly me. I was just teasing.”
For years afterward Swoozy fussed over Mrs. Refrigerator. There was never a cleaner refrigerator than Mrs. Refrigerator. Swoozy’s husband and children were reprimanded many a time for disobeying the list that never moved off of the Refrigerator door. If a child rearranged the letters it wasn’t long after they left the kitchen that the letters moved themselves back in order. Everyone assumed it was Swoozy that put them back but only she and Mrs. Refrigerator knew the truth of it. Family often wondered why Swoozy never wanted to replace her refrigerator for a new one. It was partly out of fear and partly because she reasoned that Mrs. Refrigerator was decent enough and who knew what a new refrigerator might be like. It wasn’t until Swoozy was an old woman living in a retirement home (Where there were no refrigerator’s except in the cafeteria kitchen) when she finally told her secret. Her family laughed it off as a silly joke from an old bored woman, but Swoozy knew the truth and was happy to finally tell her tale.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
The Roman Army
Do you know what a Recon mission is? Well I had no clue until today when my dad stopped over and one of my sons was talking to him about a "shoot 'em up" (as my son calls it) video game. I learned that a recon is a group of soldiers that scout out an area looking for the enemy.I liked that Dad knew this and was able to enlighten my son (and me) on this fact.
I have come to feel a very strange happiness about my sons getting into army games, guns, and interactive play where they are army men looking for bad guys. I didn't used to feel this way. In fact when my oldest first showed interest in a toy gun I felt "icky" about it and a little guilty that he would play with it. Part of it is because I'm a woman and tend to feel cautious of things that can kill someone. I thought of guns more as an instrument for killing rather than something used for protection. In today's society most people would love to rid the world of them but trust me that is not the answer! But I won't go there today :)
Well I'm way over that cautious feeling towards guns. This year for Christmas was the year of the Nerf. Every kid got one and some adults too. I get a proud "that's my boy" attitude when I see them taking aim or posing with their gun. If we lived 200 years ago I would be proud to see them pose with their lead canon or 2000 years ago their wooden spear. My boys are boys and I want them to act like boys. I believe they have a natural instinct to protect and be rough and tough so I don't want to hamper that. I have no doubt that God has a plan for my boys to be warriors for his Kingdom and that is going to take lots of courage on their part. I also understand they need self control and lots of guidance from mom and dad so don't worry about my new enthusiasm for weaponry.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
A Childhood regret
As a child I could get pretty moody when things didn't go my way and I would become...oh what's the word?....Bratty. That's what happened on the night I created my own childhood regret.
I was at a girlfriends house for her 7th birthday and we were playing a game that involved clues. She probably had about 6 or 7 friends running around finding them along with me. Her mom would read the clue and we would have to figure out where this clue was leading us to and that's where we would find a prize. EVERYONE found one but me. I was so upset by it that I hid under her dining room table and pouted until her mom found me and tried something to make me happy again but I had made up my mind to be mad, so that's what I was for the rest of the time there. If not outwardly then inwardly.
When it was time to leave I climbed into the back seat of our station wagon where Mom, Jeff and Becky were waiting. Mom saw that I was pouting so she tried to make me happy by giving me a stuffed monkey she had bought at the store for me. I took it grumpily and didn't say a word. No thank you, no I love it, just grab and pout. Seeing her disappointment with me made me regret my attitude right away however, there were no apologies from my mouth and no cuddles for the monkey. I had started this foul attitude and I was going to finish it out for the rest of the night.
Ever since that night I've felt bad for my selfishness and wished I could take that moment back. If I could I would lovingly take the monkey from Mom's hands and give it a big squeeze telling her thank you and that it made my day all better. But I can't do that so I guess I'll keep wishing I had done the right thing. I still have that monkey packed away somewhere to remind me of that night. I think I named him Tony after a boy from elementary school.
I guess my point would be, be nice to others even when you're in a funk because you just might regret it later.
I was at a girlfriends house for her 7th birthday and we were playing a game that involved clues. She probably had about 6 or 7 friends running around finding them along with me. Her mom would read the clue and we would have to figure out where this clue was leading us to and that's where we would find a prize. EVERYONE found one but me. I was so upset by it that I hid under her dining room table and pouted until her mom found me and tried something to make me happy again but I had made up my mind to be mad, so that's what I was for the rest of the time there. If not outwardly then inwardly.
When it was time to leave I climbed into the back seat of our station wagon where Mom, Jeff and Becky were waiting. Mom saw that I was pouting so she tried to make me happy by giving me a stuffed monkey she had bought at the store for me. I took it grumpily and didn't say a word. No thank you, no I love it, just grab and pout. Seeing her disappointment with me made me regret my attitude right away however, there were no apologies from my mouth and no cuddles for the monkey. I had started this foul attitude and I was going to finish it out for the rest of the night.
Ever since that night I've felt bad for my selfishness and wished I could take that moment back. If I could I would lovingly take the monkey from Mom's hands and give it a big squeeze telling her thank you and that it made my day all better. But I can't do that so I guess I'll keep wishing I had done the right thing. I still have that monkey packed away somewhere to remind me of that night. I think I named him Tony after a boy from elementary school.
I guess my point would be, be nice to others even when you're in a funk because you just might regret it later.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
On the Bright Side of a Rainy Day
some good things about rainy days....ahem....rain puddles, rain drops falling in rain puddles, beads of rain on tree branches, birds flying in the rain, the sound rain makes on umbrellas or old tin roofs, running from the car to inside (something fun about that), complaining about the rain, ooooh rain storms in the summer on a sunny day are so cool, rain in winter cuz that means it's not too cold, snuggling under a blanket w/or w/out someone, being inside, watching a rain drop race on your car window (when you're not driving), you know that kind of stuff.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Clean or Dirty?
I'm folding laundry and right as I'm done I notice a pair of kid underwear lying on the floor by my feet. I didn't notice it there before, does that mean it fell out of the basket or could it be dirty? I stand and ponder the possibilities. It could have crawled out from under the bed, maybe it had been there all along, maybe one of the kids took it off and threw it there or it really could have fallen out of the basket. I pinch it by the band to inspect it. It looks clean. One more test to determine its fate. I say a prayer as I slowly lift it towards my nose, "Dear God, please let them be clean, please let them be clean". I scrunch up my nose, suck in my lips and take a quick sniff (the quick test sniff). It smelled alright, one more longer sniff.
I say out loud to myself, to God and the pair of underwear, "Thank the Lord they are clean!" I then throw them in the correct pile and merrily go on with my laundry business.
I say out loud to myself, to God and the pair of underwear, "Thank the Lord they are clean!" I then throw them in the correct pile and merrily go on with my laundry business.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Potty Humor
I have a phobia that haunts me in my sleep and it isn’t pretty. I’m not sure when this phobia began and I’m not sure what has made me so phobic in the first place. If I tell you what it is you have to promise not to haunt me with it. Did you promise yet? Well you better.
Alright, I’m afraid of public restrooms. By the way RESTroom is SUCH a HORRIBLE name for what it really is. I would call it as dirty a name as it really is but I don’t think most parents would take there kids there. (Big sigh here) I know we need to have places along the way while we are out to relieve ourselves but, can’t we all behave ourselves while we are in there and clean up after ourselves?? I fear this is impossible.
OH! The disgustingness that I have to go through any time I can’t hold it and trust me I can hold it pretty good. Anyway so these dreams that I have are very stressful to me when I have them but are wonderful for a good laugh when I wake up. I have a bunch that I can remember so I’ll give you a glimpse of what goes on in my sleep.
Last nights dream I do believe came about due to our recent bouts with the flu. Three nights ago one of the kids woke up and had to spew junk out of both ends. What a decision he had to make. “Sit? Stand? Sit? Stand?” So he sorta did both but didn’t quite make it to a sit. Well let’s just say I had some art to clean off the walls. Yeah. Sooooo gross! So gross that it gave me nightmares.
So it starts out like all my other dreams. I’m out in public and I’m searching for a “Restroom” but I can’t seem to find any. Then I find one at last and I HAVE to use it. I go in to find a square room dimly lit. Tile floor like in any restroom is covered with a clear liquid and puddles in some areas. Some of the doors are missing as are toilets. My dream forces me to walk past the big dirty puddle to get to the last stall with the door. As I’m stepping over the puddle I think to myself, “What if I slip and fall in it?” Chills ran up my spine and I quickly dismissed the thought as I clung to the stall door. I made it over one nasty obstacle only to land in an equally grotesque one. All over the walls, encrusted on the flusher and seat and even on the inside stall door was splattered blood!!!
My mind in defense of shutting down due to fear woke me up at last. Okay, that dream was more gross than funny so here’s a funny one.
In this dream I had been searching and searching (as is always the case) for a restroom. My first find was a high school locker room (???) There were girls everywhere walking in and out like it was a train station. All I could find were showers and when I finally found the toilets they were in a deserted dark corner which was a bit scary but not as scary as the fact that ALL of the toilets were formed in a circle with absolutely no walls and therefore no doors. Like King Arthur and the knights of the round table, these poor girls were expected to sit and “Go”. I’m in a panic and ponder if I should go real quick since no one was around but decided I just CAN’T do it. I leave and eventually through my wonderings find someone who directs me to a toilet. They open a door and I see a GIGANTIC King sized bed that almost touched the ceiling. Guess where the toilet was??
It was in the middle of that bed. I had to climb the bed and when I did I saw a toilet seat sunk into the middle and nothing but a black hole down below. Needless to say I didn’t go here either. One more dream that I’ve had a few times is finding a restroom with stalls, but the stalls only go up to seat level. They even have doors which I find so curious and I always end up with a stall mate in these dreams.
The thing with restroom dreams is that I NEVER find a clean private place to go which I do believe is a good thing or else I might wake up with wet sheets.
Hope you were able to “bare” reading all this potty humor. You might want to go wash your hands or clean your bathroom or something. I think that’s what I’m going to do now.
Alright, I’m afraid of public restrooms. By the way RESTroom is SUCH a HORRIBLE name for what it really is. I would call it as dirty a name as it really is but I don’t think most parents would take there kids there. (Big sigh here) I know we need to have places along the way while we are out to relieve ourselves but, can’t we all behave ourselves while we are in there and clean up after ourselves?? I fear this is impossible.
OH! The disgustingness that I have to go through any time I can’t hold it and trust me I can hold it pretty good. Anyway so these dreams that I have are very stressful to me when I have them but are wonderful for a good laugh when I wake up. I have a bunch that I can remember so I’ll give you a glimpse of what goes on in my sleep.
Last nights dream I do believe came about due to our recent bouts with the flu. Three nights ago one of the kids woke up and had to spew junk out of both ends. What a decision he had to make. “Sit? Stand? Sit? Stand?” So he sorta did both but didn’t quite make it to a sit. Well let’s just say I had some art to clean off the walls. Yeah. Sooooo gross! So gross that it gave me nightmares.
So it starts out like all my other dreams. I’m out in public and I’m searching for a “Restroom” but I can’t seem to find any. Then I find one at last and I HAVE to use it. I go in to find a square room dimly lit. Tile floor like in any restroom is covered with a clear liquid and puddles in some areas. Some of the doors are missing as are toilets. My dream forces me to walk past the big dirty puddle to get to the last stall with the door. As I’m stepping over the puddle I think to myself, “What if I slip and fall in it?” Chills ran up my spine and I quickly dismissed the thought as I clung to the stall door. I made it over one nasty obstacle only to land in an equally grotesque one. All over the walls, encrusted on the flusher and seat and even on the inside stall door was splattered blood!!!
My mind in defense of shutting down due to fear woke me up at last. Okay, that dream was more gross than funny so here’s a funny one.
In this dream I had been searching and searching (as is always the case) for a restroom. My first find was a high school locker room (???) There were girls everywhere walking in and out like it was a train station. All I could find were showers and when I finally found the toilets they were in a deserted dark corner which was a bit scary but not as scary as the fact that ALL of the toilets were formed in a circle with absolutely no walls and therefore no doors. Like King Arthur and the knights of the round table, these poor girls were expected to sit and “Go”. I’m in a panic and ponder if I should go real quick since no one was around but decided I just CAN’T do it. I leave and eventually through my wonderings find someone who directs me to a toilet. They open a door and I see a GIGANTIC King sized bed that almost touched the ceiling. Guess where the toilet was??
It was in the middle of that bed. I had to climb the bed and when I did I saw a toilet seat sunk into the middle and nothing but a black hole down below. Needless to say I didn’t go here either. One more dream that I’ve had a few times is finding a restroom with stalls, but the stalls only go up to seat level. They even have doors which I find so curious and I always end up with a stall mate in these dreams.
The thing with restroom dreams is that I NEVER find a clean private place to go which I do believe is a good thing or else I might wake up with wet sheets.
Hope you were able to “bare” reading all this potty humor. You might want to go wash your hands or clean your bathroom or something. I think that’s what I’m going to do now.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
When I was in Elementary school my best friend in the whole world was signing up for piano lessons. Quite naturally I wanted to too, so I did.
We started our first lesson by standing in a row and one by one located middle C with our index finger and on it went all the way to G. I remember thinking that learning piano was going to be a piece of cake. I was dreaming of composing my own master pieces and playing in front of hundreds of adoring fans. A few lessons later however, we were only learning scales and to my horror and extreme disappointment my best friend in the whole world left me for an advanced group. I was left alone with a bunch of babies playing boring old scales. Piano lessons had lost it's appeal.
My mom played the piano a little and always wished she had lessons so when I asked to play she was all for it, so no I couldn't quit. BUMMER
I stuck with it through all the scales and in my second year played that Yankee Doodle song in my first ever recital. I was very proud and excited until some little kid played something by that Mozart guy and then my confidence fell like a rocket out of space. I wanted to be playing his piece not my level 2 piece!!
That night I threw in the towel or at least as much of it as a 3rd grader could. I walked a bit slower to lessons each week, my little fingers lost what little pep they had when tapping the keys and I didn't practice like I should have.
One day I decided I was going to "forget" about lessons. When the bell rang for the end of the day, instead of going to piano lessons I went to the playground where I hoped Mrs. Heater my piano teacher would forget too. As I was swinging by myself I saw Mrs. Heater not walking but rather marching over to me. It was a rather long march from the school building to the swings which gave me plenty of time to work up my nerve as best I could. BOY she did NOT look happy at all. With a big frown and lots of irritation she asked why I wasn't at lessons.
"Oh! was that today? I forgot!" I totally lied. She told me we would pick up our missing lesson next week and gave me a piercing look before turning and marching back in.
A lot of wishful thinking happens as kids. Like the whole hiding behind polls and thinking that no one can see when in fact the only part they can't see of you is your eye balls. Same thing with this lie I told Mrs. Heater. I lied to her to get away with the naughty thing I did but all along she saw my lie and knew exactly what was going on.
I didn't skip any more lessons but it wasn't too long after that, I stopped taking lessons and instead I rocked on the piano at home to my own tunes.
We started our first lesson by standing in a row and one by one located middle C with our index finger and on it went all the way to G. I remember thinking that learning piano was going to be a piece of cake. I was dreaming of composing my own master pieces and playing in front of hundreds of adoring fans. A few lessons later however, we were only learning scales and to my horror and extreme disappointment my best friend in the whole world left me for an advanced group. I was left alone with a bunch of babies playing boring old scales. Piano lessons had lost it's appeal.
My mom played the piano a little and always wished she had lessons so when I asked to play she was all for it, so no I couldn't quit. BUMMER
I stuck with it through all the scales and in my second year played that Yankee Doodle song in my first ever recital. I was very proud and excited until some little kid played something by that Mozart guy and then my confidence fell like a rocket out of space. I wanted to be playing his piece not my level 2 piece!!
That night I threw in the towel or at least as much of it as a 3rd grader could. I walked a bit slower to lessons each week, my little fingers lost what little pep they had when tapping the keys and I didn't practice like I should have.
One day I decided I was going to "forget" about lessons. When the bell rang for the end of the day, instead of going to piano lessons I went to the playground where I hoped Mrs. Heater my piano teacher would forget too. As I was swinging by myself I saw Mrs. Heater not walking but rather marching over to me. It was a rather long march from the school building to the swings which gave me plenty of time to work up my nerve as best I could. BOY she did NOT look happy at all. With a big frown and lots of irritation she asked why I wasn't at lessons.
"Oh! was that today? I forgot!" I totally lied. She told me we would pick up our missing lesson next week and gave me a piercing look before turning and marching back in.
A lot of wishful thinking happens as kids. Like the whole hiding behind polls and thinking that no one can see when in fact the only part they can't see of you is your eye balls. Same thing with this lie I told Mrs. Heater. I lied to her to get away with the naughty thing I did but all along she saw my lie and knew exactly what was going on.
I didn't skip any more lessons but it wasn't too long after that, I stopped taking lessons and instead I rocked on the piano at home to my own tunes.
Friday, November 28, 2008
How He Loves
How He Loves
Thank you God for teaching me how to love. Never before, have I felt such a love for others as I have now.
Over the past couple years God has been showing me how to love. To love deeply, to love all, to love at all times, to love you.
First I had to learn how to except God’s love for me. He loves me beyond all reason and that is how I am to love.
Chris Abshire had God’s love, Rosie Woodring had God’s love, Kathy Cousins had God’s love, Herb Reisig Sr. had God’s love. All four of these beautiful people let God in and let Him love them. All four of these people have died and gone to be with God.
On Thanksgiving day as we drove to Allentown Nate and I listened to, How He Loves by JohnMark McMillan. I first thought of Chris. A talented young man who praised God, it seemed with every breath. He sang this song and that’s how I first heard it. There is no other like Chris. Then I thought of my mom Rosie. She understood God, She was sweet and funny, a woman that believed and trusted God no matter what. There is no other like my mom Rosie. Kathy Cousins loved people every day, she even had a list on how to love and lived her life by it. She trusted God. There is no other like Kathy. Herb Sr. spent his whole life running away from God’s love but eventually got weary of running so he stopped and when he turned around, met Jesus. He spent the rest of his days loving God and his family. There is no other like Herb Sr.
My point is that God loves us each past overflowing. He loves us like no other because we are each so unique. It's like the love that I have for my own children. I love them with the same extordinary strength but each of our relationships are just as different as each of their personalities.
All four of these wonderful people died from Cancer between May of ’98 and Nov. 2008. Each one became sweeter still in their final days. I believe God picked them at their ripest. God talks about pruning in the Bible and I’ve always thought of it strictly as pruning the dead branches so the rest of the vine doesn’t die, however with fruit one has to pick the ripe fruit so that more fruit can grow. So many people’s lives were touched by the pruning of these four lives. As loved ones who will never see them again this can be hard to deal with, but with understanding we can. Their suffering was not God’s plan but rather just a part of this world we live in. We can not escape sin or the consequences of it. Our bodies are flawed because we live in a world that is flawed because of our sin.
God is the healer of our souls and if it is His will, our bodies as well but if we truly love Him we will bend to His will and trust Him even if that means pruning.
I feel as though I’m growing again so I’m enjoying this fresh wind that is blowing over me. Loving others the way that I should is so refreshing and is opening my eyes to a more powerful Worship. I encourage anyone who has been feeling a lack of worship to first, make sure you really are letting God love you and then, evaluate how deeply you love others. I didn’t realize how much God loved me until I started taking pictures of nature and more and more of my children. I saw how God made these clouds for me to enjoy, the fields for me to look at and trees to make me wonder, the sun to cheer me and the rain to slow me down and my children to enjoy it all. I love teaching them about all of God’s creations.
These were the thoughts going around in my head this Thanksgiving season. I’ll pray that God gives you understanding as I feel I didn’t write very coherently due to the newness of it all and my tiredness.
Thank you God for teaching me how to love. Never before, have I felt such a love for others as I have now.
Over the past couple years God has been showing me how to love. To love deeply, to love all, to love at all times, to love you.
First I had to learn how to except God’s love for me. He loves me beyond all reason and that is how I am to love.
Chris Abshire had God’s love, Rosie Woodring had God’s love, Kathy Cousins had God’s love, Herb Reisig Sr. had God’s love. All four of these beautiful people let God in and let Him love them. All four of these people have died and gone to be with God.
On Thanksgiving day as we drove to Allentown Nate and I listened to, How He Loves by JohnMark McMillan. I first thought of Chris. A talented young man who praised God, it seemed with every breath. He sang this song and that’s how I first heard it. There is no other like Chris. Then I thought of my mom Rosie. She understood God, She was sweet and funny, a woman that believed and trusted God no matter what. There is no other like my mom Rosie. Kathy Cousins loved people every day, she even had a list on how to love and lived her life by it. She trusted God. There is no other like Kathy. Herb Sr. spent his whole life running away from God’s love but eventually got weary of running so he stopped and when he turned around, met Jesus. He spent the rest of his days loving God and his family. There is no other like Herb Sr.
My point is that God loves us each past overflowing. He loves us like no other because we are each so unique. It's like the love that I have for my own children. I love them with the same extordinary strength but each of our relationships are just as different as each of their personalities.
All four of these wonderful people died from Cancer between May of ’98 and Nov. 2008. Each one became sweeter still in their final days. I believe God picked them at their ripest. God talks about pruning in the Bible and I’ve always thought of it strictly as pruning the dead branches so the rest of the vine doesn’t die, however with fruit one has to pick the ripe fruit so that more fruit can grow. So many people’s lives were touched by the pruning of these four lives. As loved ones who will never see them again this can be hard to deal with, but with understanding we can. Their suffering was not God’s plan but rather just a part of this world we live in. We can not escape sin or the consequences of it. Our bodies are flawed because we live in a world that is flawed because of our sin.
God is the healer of our souls and if it is His will, our bodies as well but if we truly love Him we will bend to His will and trust Him even if that means pruning.
I feel as though I’m growing again so I’m enjoying this fresh wind that is blowing over me. Loving others the way that I should is so refreshing and is opening my eyes to a more powerful Worship. I encourage anyone who has been feeling a lack of worship to first, make sure you really are letting God love you and then, evaluate how deeply you love others. I didn’t realize how much God loved me until I started taking pictures of nature and more and more of my children. I saw how God made these clouds for me to enjoy, the fields for me to look at and trees to make me wonder, the sun to cheer me and the rain to slow me down and my children to enjoy it all. I love teaching them about all of God’s creations.
These were the thoughts going around in my head this Thanksgiving season. I’ll pray that God gives you understanding as I feel I didn’t write very coherently due to the newness of it all and my tiredness.
Monday, November 17, 2008
An Apology
Dear Mr. Washer,
How do I begin? I guess with, I'm Sooooooooo sorry! I don't know what happened exactly. This isn't like the other times, I promise.
I truly didn't remember that I had washed a load of towels. It was only by chance that I looked in on you and saw the lid down. I knew right away that I had done it again. I hope you can forgive me. I put in extra detergent and a healthy dose of bleach.
You and the towels should be smelling better in just about 30 minutes.
Thank you again Mr. Washer for your dependable rinse and spin cycles. Without you I would be plunging underwear into rivers and beating them over rocks.
Your dependant owner,
Swoozy
p.s. I'm also sorry if I may have thrown in an extra towel or two...or three.
How do I begin? I guess with, I'm Sooooooooo sorry! I don't know what happened exactly. This isn't like the other times, I promise.
I truly didn't remember that I had washed a load of towels. It was only by chance that I looked in on you and saw the lid down. I knew right away that I had done it again. I hope you can forgive me. I put in extra detergent and a healthy dose of bleach.
You and the towels should be smelling better in just about 30 minutes.
Thank you again Mr. Washer for your dependable rinse and spin cycles. Without you I would be plunging underwear into rivers and beating them over rocks.
Your dependant owner,
Swoozy
p.s. I'm also sorry if I may have thrown in an extra towel or two...or three.
Monday, November 10, 2008
You might not believe this...
but try.
(If you haven't read my blog before this one then do so now as this one relates to it.)
I was just thinking that maybe our family logo should be, "Just Happens" sorta like the Nike slogan, "Just do it". Things in our house "just happens" all the time.
I had JUST written that blog last night about our past and present pets and was quite happy and sure about the welfare of our non alive friends when what should HAPPEN??
This morning after taking the older boys to school and clearing the breakfast dishes, I sat down in my favorite chair with a steaming hot cup of coffee. I was checking my e-mail when I noticed Gabe wasn't in the room. I called his name and heard his voice coming from the upstairs.
"Oh, please tell me he's not in the bathroom" I pleaded to no one. I set down my cup of coffee and ran up the stairs. My fear was recognised as I first saw the bathroom door open, then no Gabe standing on the stool by the sink, but rather standing in front of the open toilet bowl with Hammy in Hand.
Hammy was drenched and so was the hand that held Hammy. "You have GOT to be kidding me?" I said out loud. This was crazy. I had just finished writing about Hammy and I honestly thought Hammy would be safe from harm but alas I was wrong. Gabe killed Hammy the only way you could kill a fake pet. By submerging it in water, destroying the batteries and all the inner electrical workings.
Maybe I'm not so much shocked that this happened but rather shocked by the timing.
I haven't told Uriah yet about Hammy. I'm wondering if I should go to Five Below and find a replacement first. I hope that when Uriah does find out that Hammy bit the porcelain toilet bowl, he'll see the humor in it.
***For those of you wondering, yes there was pee in the toilet bowl.***
(If you haven't read my blog before this one then do so now as this one relates to it.)
I was just thinking that maybe our family logo should be, "Just Happens" sorta like the Nike slogan, "Just do it". Things in our house "just happens" all the time.
I had JUST written that blog last night about our past and present pets and was quite happy and sure about the welfare of our non alive friends when what should HAPPEN??
This morning after taking the older boys to school and clearing the breakfast dishes, I sat down in my favorite chair with a steaming hot cup of coffee. I was checking my e-mail when I noticed Gabe wasn't in the room. I called his name and heard his voice coming from the upstairs.
"Oh, please tell me he's not in the bathroom" I pleaded to no one. I set down my cup of coffee and ran up the stairs. My fear was recognised as I first saw the bathroom door open, then no Gabe standing on the stool by the sink, but rather standing in front of the open toilet bowl with Hammy in Hand.
Hammy was drenched and so was the hand that held Hammy. "You have GOT to be kidding me?" I said out loud. This was crazy. I had just finished writing about Hammy and I honestly thought Hammy would be safe from harm but alas I was wrong. Gabe killed Hammy the only way you could kill a fake pet. By submerging it in water, destroying the batteries and all the inner electrical workings.
Maybe I'm not so much shocked that this happened but rather shocked by the timing.
I haven't told Uriah yet about Hammy. I'm wondering if I should go to Five Below and find a replacement first. I hope that when Uriah does find out that Hammy bit the porcelain toilet bowl, he'll see the humor in it.
***For those of you wondering, yes there was pee in the toilet bowl.***
Saturday, November 08, 2008
The Start of a Day
5:45am. Ty wakes up with a coughing fit. Baby wakes up crying from all the coughing. Mom wakes up from the baby crying. Josh wakes up when Mom notices he's peed the bed. Ry wakes up when lights are turned on. Ty who started this chain goes on sleeping.
7:30am. Baby ate banana, a bite of left over pizza (he didn't like it), a cinnamon roll and watches cartoons. Mom is working on third cup of coffee after snoozing on the couch failed. Josh ate one banana and wasted another, browsed magazine for Christmas gifts and picked on baby. Ry ate breakfast and played DS. Ty wakes up. Ty looks rested. Baby, Mom, Josh and Ry do not.
**Now where did I put that stinkin' cup of coffee??**
7:30am. Baby ate banana, a bite of left over pizza (he didn't like it), a cinnamon roll and watches cartoons. Mom is working on third cup of coffee after snoozing on the couch failed. Josh ate one banana and wasted another, browsed magazine for Christmas gifts and picked on baby. Ry ate breakfast and played DS. Ty wakes up. Ty looks rested. Baby, Mom, Josh and Ry do not.
**Now where did I put that stinkin' cup of coffee??**
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Beware Old Tree
Beware Old Tree
By Suzanne Roman
Beware old tree you stand too close
To the pond whom awaits your fall.
He’ll swallow you up just bits at a time
Trunk, middle and limb.
He’ll digest you at his leisure
For this brings him much pleasure.
Hoping you’ll drag an unsuspecting someone down;
His surface is patient and calm
Reflecting sun, shadow and hew.
Beneath is where mystery looms
His soul and sorrows glide,
Under the prickly paws that break the surface,
Past the roots of Bulrushes brown,
Between the grasses green,
And settles beneath the cloudy muck.
Oh how he watches you old tree!
Oh how he watches me!
By Suzanne Roman
Beware old tree you stand too close
To the pond whom awaits your fall.
He’ll swallow you up just bits at a time
Trunk, middle and limb.
He’ll digest you at his leisure
For this brings him much pleasure.
Hoping you’ll drag an unsuspecting someone down;
His surface is patient and calm
Reflecting sun, shadow and hew.
Beneath is where mystery looms
His soul and sorrows glide,
Under the prickly paws that break the surface,
Past the roots of Bulrushes brown,
Between the grasses green,
And settles beneath the cloudy muck.
Oh how he watches you old tree!
Oh how he watches me!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
POA
“Oh Suzie, why did you do that?” was the exasperated question Nate asked and you probably will too. I’ll tell you what I did and then if I can think of a good enough reason by the end of this blog I’ll tell you why.
Time: 7:50pm
Day: last Friday
Where: My house
Description: It was a cold dark October night when our doorbell rang. I looked over at the clock from my chair which I was dozing in at the time and thought it was still a little too early for Nate and Uriah to be home from a soccer game. Josh and Gabe ran to the window shouting, “Who is it, who is it?” I asked if they could see anyone but they couldn’t tell. I thought I heard a girl’s voice so I assumed it was my next door neighbor ringing for an egg or cup of sugar.
I opened the door to hear a merry, “Hello” as if from a happy friend but I still couldn’t make out who it was. I was looking through our screen door out into the dark so I didn’t know I was giving a merry “hello, how are you?” to a complete stranger. When I finally noticed I didn’t know this person I felt a little silly for giving her such a nice greeting.
She was a young girl maybe slightly over college age wearing a trendy light sweater jacket and striped scarf. Her hair was cut short and real cute and she had a big smile on.
She asked if she was bothering me with one of those, “I know I am” looks.
Right away I asked her if this was one of those magazine things. She guiltily said yes and instead of asking me to buy magazines she asked if she could use the bathroom.
Okay so right now you are probably shaking your head and thinking, “Oh Suzie, you didn’t let her in did you?”
YES I DID LET HER IN!!! sigh….
With toys strewn over the floor, dinner scraps still left on the table and kids jumping up and down curious to see who was at our door I let her in. At this point as she stood right inside the door, my brain flashed back to about two summers ago when I let another stranger into the house to use the bathroom and how unhappy that made Nate. I felt guilty as I led her upstairs to the bathroom (my messy bathroom). I shut all the bedroom doors and came back down stairs with all the boys and we waited.
If you thought that was the end of the story…well it’s not.
Girlfriend walks down the stairs and sits on my couch and says, “you mind if I chill in here for a few minutes until my ride gets here? I wouldn’t ask cuz (blah blah blah) but it’s so cold out there and dark.” She tried to make me feel more comfortable about having her in my house by asking me some personal questions. If this was indeed her reasoning for asking if my husband was sleeping upstairs, what kind of job does he have? do the kids sleep well? Have you ever been robbed? (JUST KIDDING on the last oneJ ), well she was totally wrong. I started to ask her some questions too. So you said you have kids? How many? How old? You go to school? Why do these people only sell magazines????
After our round of 20 questions she shocked me again by asking, “Do you have anything I could eat like a raw hot dog or something…just to take the edge off?”
DANG! This girl was like none other!!
I thought for a minute. “This girl is real. She is in my living room. She is now asking me for food. A raw hotdog to be exact. I don’t have any hot dogs. I am now totally uncomfortable. Jesus would give her a hot dog. Jesus would have given her 5,000 raw hotdogs, but I’m not Jesus.”
“No, I don’t have any hotdogs. I don’t really have anything right now.”
“No problem, well thanks for letting me get warm I’ll go wait on the curb for my ride.” She said bye to the kids who were all bouncing around showing off their cool moves for her. I shut the door and locked it and then about a minute later peeked out the curtain to see if she was gone. I saw a hooded figure hugging it’s knees under the street lamp. I figured “it” was “her”. I felt a little safer knowing she didn’t just disappear and was waiting like she said she would.
I went to the kitchen looking for something I could let her eat. I saw the granola bar box and grabbed two. I called her over and she came running. A bit lost dog like she came back and she hadn’t changed any in the 2 min we were apart. She asked to stand in the doorway and wait and then asked to use the phone. (don’t worry, she does leave and this story will end.) She called her “ride” and told them she was waiting. She waited another minute and Tyler showed her his star wars pictures and she smiled and thanked me again and then went back into the cold night. The next time I looked out of the window she was gone. I looked around the house and saw that we have NOTHING worth stealing and took comfort in that, then I made sure EVERYTHING was locked.
For the next 20 minutes I debated on how much I should tell Nate and cringed knowing exactly his facial expressions and the words that would come out of his mouth after telling him. I also checked the bathroom and pondered over all the questions she asked.
I did tell Nate about her and yes he did scold me but I deserved it. He wasn’t mean about it but he didn’t ignore it either. Not when it involves his lovely wife and his adorable children.
I understand that I have a problem saying, “No.” I always have. That’s why I joined this new group called POA (Push-Over Anonymous). We spend the first 30 minutes telling our stories so we never forget where we’ve come from, then for the next 30 minutes we practice saying, “No!” ;)
Actually I tried to come up with some good lines with a friend of mine so that when the next person comes to use the bathroom I’m prepared. For example, “No, I’m sorry but you can try my neighbor” or ,” Sorry our toilet is broken.” But then that would be a lie. I think I just need a sign posted on my door that says NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.
I actually think if a man or a woman showed up at my door I would be brave enough to say no since I’ve dealt with that but heaven help me if an old lady shows up!!
Time: 7:50pm
Day: last Friday
Where: My house
Description: It was a cold dark October night when our doorbell rang. I looked over at the clock from my chair which I was dozing in at the time and thought it was still a little too early for Nate and Uriah to be home from a soccer game. Josh and Gabe ran to the window shouting, “Who is it, who is it?” I asked if they could see anyone but they couldn’t tell. I thought I heard a girl’s voice so I assumed it was my next door neighbor ringing for an egg or cup of sugar.
I opened the door to hear a merry, “Hello” as if from a happy friend but I still couldn’t make out who it was. I was looking through our screen door out into the dark so I didn’t know I was giving a merry “hello, how are you?” to a complete stranger. When I finally noticed I didn’t know this person I felt a little silly for giving her such a nice greeting.
She was a young girl maybe slightly over college age wearing a trendy light sweater jacket and striped scarf. Her hair was cut short and real cute and she had a big smile on.
She asked if she was bothering me with one of those, “I know I am” looks.
Right away I asked her if this was one of those magazine things. She guiltily said yes and instead of asking me to buy magazines she asked if she could use the bathroom.
Okay so right now you are probably shaking your head and thinking, “Oh Suzie, you didn’t let her in did you?”
YES I DID LET HER IN!!! sigh….
With toys strewn over the floor, dinner scraps still left on the table and kids jumping up and down curious to see who was at our door I let her in. At this point as she stood right inside the door, my brain flashed back to about two summers ago when I let another stranger into the house to use the bathroom and how unhappy that made Nate. I felt guilty as I led her upstairs to the bathroom (my messy bathroom). I shut all the bedroom doors and came back down stairs with all the boys and we waited.
If you thought that was the end of the story…well it’s not.
Girlfriend walks down the stairs and sits on my couch and says, “you mind if I chill in here for a few minutes until my ride gets here? I wouldn’t ask cuz (blah blah blah) but it’s so cold out there and dark.” She tried to make me feel more comfortable about having her in my house by asking me some personal questions. If this was indeed her reasoning for asking if my husband was sleeping upstairs, what kind of job does he have? do the kids sleep well? Have you ever been robbed? (JUST KIDDING on the last oneJ ), well she was totally wrong. I started to ask her some questions too. So you said you have kids? How many? How old? You go to school? Why do these people only sell magazines????
After our round of 20 questions she shocked me again by asking, “Do you have anything I could eat like a raw hot dog or something…just to take the edge off?”
DANG! This girl was like none other!!
I thought for a minute. “This girl is real. She is in my living room. She is now asking me for food. A raw hotdog to be exact. I don’t have any hot dogs. I am now totally uncomfortable. Jesus would give her a hot dog. Jesus would have given her 5,000 raw hotdogs, but I’m not Jesus.”
“No, I don’t have any hotdogs. I don’t really have anything right now.”
“No problem, well thanks for letting me get warm I’ll go wait on the curb for my ride.” She said bye to the kids who were all bouncing around showing off their cool moves for her. I shut the door and locked it and then about a minute later peeked out the curtain to see if she was gone. I saw a hooded figure hugging it’s knees under the street lamp. I figured “it” was “her”. I felt a little safer knowing she didn’t just disappear and was waiting like she said she would.
I went to the kitchen looking for something I could let her eat. I saw the granola bar box and grabbed two. I called her over and she came running. A bit lost dog like she came back and she hadn’t changed any in the 2 min we were apart. She asked to stand in the doorway and wait and then asked to use the phone. (don’t worry, she does leave and this story will end.) She called her “ride” and told them she was waiting. She waited another minute and Tyler showed her his star wars pictures and she smiled and thanked me again and then went back into the cold night. The next time I looked out of the window she was gone. I looked around the house and saw that we have NOTHING worth stealing and took comfort in that, then I made sure EVERYTHING was locked.
For the next 20 minutes I debated on how much I should tell Nate and cringed knowing exactly his facial expressions and the words that would come out of his mouth after telling him. I also checked the bathroom and pondered over all the questions she asked.
I did tell Nate about her and yes he did scold me but I deserved it. He wasn’t mean about it but he didn’t ignore it either. Not when it involves his lovely wife and his adorable children.
I understand that I have a problem saying, “No.” I always have. That’s why I joined this new group called POA (Push-Over Anonymous). We spend the first 30 minutes telling our stories so we never forget where we’ve come from, then for the next 30 minutes we practice saying, “No!” ;)
Actually I tried to come up with some good lines with a friend of mine so that when the next person comes to use the bathroom I’m prepared. For example, “No, I’m sorry but you can try my neighbor” or ,” Sorry our toilet is broken.” But then that would be a lie. I think I just need a sign posted on my door that says NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.
I actually think if a man or a woman showed up at my door I would be brave enough to say no since I’ve dealt with that but heaven help me if an old lady shows up!!
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
An odd Confession from Swoozy
I sometimes struggle to wash the coffee pot. Don't say I didn't warn you it would be odd. Just about every time I make a pot of coffee for myself in the morning I have about or at least a cup of coffee left in the pot when I'm all done. Every time I go back into the kitchen I see it there first hot, then luke warm and then totally cold. "Time to wash me out" it says to me. "Not yet" Says I. Next time I walk in it says, "Well, how about now? What's so important that you can't wash me now?" I look around the kitchen searching for something, anything to do but wash that pot. Suddenly a scream from the other room. "Sorry pot, you're gonna have to wait a bit." I dash out of the kitchen and before I know it I'm back to fill a kids cup with milk. There it is again, this time it doesn't say anything. It doesn't need to, I can see it glaring at me. I tease it by unloading the dishwasher and putting every available dish in before finally grabbing the pot, taking it apart and putting it on the rack. "There pot, are you happy now?" I say. "Yes, til tomorrow then?" it says."Yes." I say, "Till tomorrow."
Mr. Washer
Hush little washer don't say a word, Mama's gonna buy you the best detergent. If that detergent doesn't clean Mama's gonna buy you a sewing machine. What? Sewing machine? Well can't say I didn't try.Tonight I spent some quality time with my washer. I've had my washing machine, or maybe I should say, we've had each other for seven years. Seven years of throwing clothes in and slamming the lid, sometimes only to forget that I've had a load in there for one, two, maybe even three days. Seven years of overloading and under appreciation. He finally had it and threw in (or should I say out) the towel. A broken belt was the minor infirmity with a not so minor bill, but it could have been much worse.I ran downstairs later in the evening to throw in what felt like my first ever load of laundry. Only this time I didn't throw it in but rather gently placed it in. I didn't slam the lid this time either but rather gently lowered it. As I stood back admiring my washer with a new appreciation I noticed the dust and dirt smears. Well that wouldn't do. I pulled out a handy dandy Clorox wipe and went to town on all washer parts within my eyesight, then I went above and under the call of duty by wiping under the lid as well.I gave him a pat and promised to never stuff another oversized quilt into his frame and to try my best to remove all wet clothing within a timely fashion, After all I owe him for his seven years of faithful service. Thank you Mr. Washer!I leave you with this question, "What have you done for your washer lately?"
dun dun dunnnnn
Around every corner, under every dirty piece of laundry, on every eating utensil, and in every air particle you breath, it could be there; Lurking and smirking ready to infiltrate your body to weaken your defenses and ultimately make you puke. It is the dreaded indiscriminate FLU BUG.
It’s here in my house and I am armed with Lysol spray, handy wipes, anti bacterial soaps, plastic gloves, gas masks and my wits. I am ready to show this flu bug who is boss!
But alas! What is this ache in my body? What is this queasy feeling in my stomach? Could it be? It’s all coming back to me now. The flu bug wooed me with chubby cheeks, big brown eyes and a slobbery kiss on the lips. It knew my one true weakness and used an innocent baby against me. Oh! The sorrow, the suffering, the mucus covered esophagus and gut wrenching pains!!!! I have been defeated and the flu bug has won again.
It’s here in my house and I am armed with Lysol spray, handy wipes, anti bacterial soaps, plastic gloves, gas masks and my wits. I am ready to show this flu bug who is boss!
But alas! What is this ache in my body? What is this queasy feeling in my stomach? Could it be? It’s all coming back to me now. The flu bug wooed me with chubby cheeks, big brown eyes and a slobbery kiss on the lips. It knew my one true weakness and used an innocent baby against me. Oh! The sorrow, the suffering, the mucus covered esophagus and gut wrenching pains!!!! I have been defeated and the flu bug has won again.
Now it's clean, now it's not
For years I have somehow managed to keep my house clean most of the time but now that my fourth has reached the age of climbing and wanting (wants me, wants food, wants drink, wants outside, wants, wants, wants) which comes with lots of screaming when his climbing is interrupted or his wants not met, I have come to see that my house is never all clean all the time. But what is worse is a smelly house. Lately I've been loosing my battle with the stink and here is an example of why.
Just the other day I was cleaning the first floor of my house when I sent Josh upstairs to use the bathroom (which only smells good for the first 2min after I clean it) It wasn't long after that I heard some strange noises. I dropped what I was doing and ran up the stairs to see Josh holding the toilet lid up with one hand and about to reach in the toilet with the other. He gave me that, "uh oh" look as I peered into the watery bowl. There happily floating in the water was a dirty diaper and a band aid and sunk underneath that and peeking out of the hole at the bottom was something blue and plastic. For two days prior to this Josh had been flushing race cars which Nate dove in after and retrieved using a plastic grocery bag as protection from the poop infested waters. Apparently it's no fun to put cars in a clean bowl...maybe Josh wanted his cars to race his poop???
So, because of that I thought it was a race car. I followed Nates example and put a grocery bag around my hand and picked out the diaper and band-aid, then came the more tricky part. I tried to pinch the blue thing with my fingers but it floated further into the hole, "Dang it!" then I saw it...some thin dirty floaters coming out of the hole..."Retreat, retreat!!!" I yanked my hand out of the toilet and the bag, noticing my hand had gotten wet...Naaaaaaasty. I searched the hall closet for my cleaning gloves (wish I had thought of that in the first place) but I couldn't find them so instead used a thin glove found underneath some cleaning products under the kitchen sink. It was thin and gross looking but it would have to do. I stretched it on and went back to the toilet. I had to plunge the toy back down along with the floaties :( I saw the blue so I pulled the glove as far as it would go on my arm and carefully pinched the toy with my fingers. This time it came out right away. My prize was a plastic transformer toy from a Happy meal. Into the trash it went along with the glove. I flushed the toilet and heard a rattling in the pipes and then a gurgle from the bowl. I had missed a toy in there and now there was no more water. :( Can't say I didn't try. Thank heavens for the basement bathroom. I gave up on the toilet and decided to leave it for Nate to fix.
Now fast-forward to when Nate gets home. I told him about the toilet upstairs and then called Josh (who was in the basement) up stairs to come see Daddy. Josh came up and we all did what we do when Daddy comes home. Kids hang on Nate while I retreat to the kitchen to cook or at least pretend to cook just to get some time away from kids hanging on me or asking for something. Several minutes later I send Uriah downstairs to make sure everything is closed up and locked. Uriah let out a scream and that’s when he found out Josh had brought in the hose which caused a minor flood. Nate cleaned up the flood and the next day the basement toilet was broken (don’t ask me why cuz I stopped caring) Now Nate’s priority was to fix the upstairs bathroom. He plunged some more sending the unknown toy further down the pipes and hopefully into the cesspit under the ground where it won’t be able to do any more harm.
It’s always something here, and I’m fine with that…really I am…it’s just the way it is…but sometimes I do get frustrated and then I think about all the fun we have when I’m not cleaning pee off the bathroom floor or fishing toys out of the toilet and think of the fun we’ll have again and it’s not so bad (most of the time). J
Just the other day I was cleaning the first floor of my house when I sent Josh upstairs to use the bathroom (which only smells good for the first 2min after I clean it) It wasn't long after that I heard some strange noises. I dropped what I was doing and ran up the stairs to see Josh holding the toilet lid up with one hand and about to reach in the toilet with the other. He gave me that, "uh oh" look as I peered into the watery bowl. There happily floating in the water was a dirty diaper and a band aid and sunk underneath that and peeking out of the hole at the bottom was something blue and plastic. For two days prior to this Josh had been flushing race cars which Nate dove in after and retrieved using a plastic grocery bag as protection from the poop infested waters. Apparently it's no fun to put cars in a clean bowl...maybe Josh wanted his cars to race his poop???
So, because of that I thought it was a race car. I followed Nates example and put a grocery bag around my hand and picked out the diaper and band-aid, then came the more tricky part. I tried to pinch the blue thing with my fingers but it floated further into the hole, "Dang it!" then I saw it...some thin dirty floaters coming out of the hole..."Retreat, retreat!!!" I yanked my hand out of the toilet and the bag, noticing my hand had gotten wet...Naaaaaaasty. I searched the hall closet for my cleaning gloves (wish I had thought of that in the first place) but I couldn't find them so instead used a thin glove found underneath some cleaning products under the kitchen sink. It was thin and gross looking but it would have to do. I stretched it on and went back to the toilet. I had to plunge the toy back down along with the floaties :( I saw the blue so I pulled the glove as far as it would go on my arm and carefully pinched the toy with my fingers. This time it came out right away. My prize was a plastic transformer toy from a Happy meal. Into the trash it went along with the glove. I flushed the toilet and heard a rattling in the pipes and then a gurgle from the bowl. I had missed a toy in there and now there was no more water. :( Can't say I didn't try. Thank heavens for the basement bathroom. I gave up on the toilet and decided to leave it for Nate to fix.
Now fast-forward to when Nate gets home. I told him about the toilet upstairs and then called Josh (who was in the basement) up stairs to come see Daddy. Josh came up and we all did what we do when Daddy comes home. Kids hang on Nate while I retreat to the kitchen to cook or at least pretend to cook just to get some time away from kids hanging on me or asking for something. Several minutes later I send Uriah downstairs to make sure everything is closed up and locked. Uriah let out a scream and that’s when he found out Josh had brought in the hose which caused a minor flood. Nate cleaned up the flood and the next day the basement toilet was broken (don’t ask me why cuz I stopped caring) Now Nate’s priority was to fix the upstairs bathroom. He plunged some more sending the unknown toy further down the pipes and hopefully into the cesspit under the ground where it won’t be able to do any more harm.
It’s always something here, and I’m fine with that…really I am…it’s just the way it is…but sometimes I do get frustrated and then I think about all the fun we have when I’m not cleaning pee off the bathroom floor or fishing toys out of the toilet and think of the fun we’ll have again and it’s not so bad (most of the time). J
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Rules for the Lone She-Wolf
Rules for the Lone She-Wolf
#1. Never assume the toilet seat is down. Don’t ever let your guard down. Right when you think they have mastered toilet etiquette your butt cheeks hit toilet water.
#2. While taking a shower lock the doors. If the doors don’t lock peek out every few seconds and when not peeking repeat, “I see you!” over and over again to prevent peeping toms and pranks. Boys are very curious and some husbands are known to play tricks on their wives, like dumping a cup of cold water over the shower curtain, flushing toilets or running sink water.
#3. When using the bathroom, even if you will only take 10 sec. to pee it apparently only takes little boys 3 sec. to appear out of nowhere to point and giggle or ask where your “thing” is. Always shut the door and lock it.
#4. Naps? What’s a nap? You know that thing you do laying down or if you’re me, sitting up. Use caution when taking a nap. It is always a bad idea to nap in open areas such as on the couch or worse yet, the floor. Here you will always be in continual sight. This is just asking for, “It”. “It” can mean many things, such as but not limited to, being hit on rear, face, head or any other soft spot. All the while boy shouts, “Wake up Mommy!” in your ear and then taps you on your shoulder repeating, “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! until you respond just for him to ask, “Are you sleeping?” Another nap time misadventure is having paper, food or toys placed over entire body or worse yet, in your hair.
To lessen the risks above, nap in your room with doors closed and if husband is home locked. At some point they WILL come looking for you so if desperate for sleep consider places they would never look such as in the van, attic or wherever their shoes are.
#5. Buy Boys white socks only. There are no such things as pairs in a house full of all boys.
#6. Hide your treats. If you have a favorite treat and it’s something that costs a bit more than other treats or it comes in small quantities, keep it a secret. For example, I love Klondike Bars. Only six come in a pack and they aren’t cheep. I only eat one at night when the kids are sleeping so they don’t even know Klondike’s exist. Be sure all the kids are actually asleep, you wouldn’t want them to walk in on you devouring your special treat. Throw all evidence away and under other trash. Leave no trace of crumb or chocolate smear, not even the smell on your breath. I recommend heavy brushing and flossing. A kid can smell chocolate from miles away.
Hopefully these rules can help all those lone She-Wolves out there or perhaps you would like to add some of your own.
#1. Never assume the toilet seat is down. Don’t ever let your guard down. Right when you think they have mastered toilet etiquette your butt cheeks hit toilet water.
#2. While taking a shower lock the doors. If the doors don’t lock peek out every few seconds and when not peeking repeat, “I see you!” over and over again to prevent peeping toms and pranks. Boys are very curious and some husbands are known to play tricks on their wives, like dumping a cup of cold water over the shower curtain, flushing toilets or running sink water.
#3. When using the bathroom, even if you will only take 10 sec. to pee it apparently only takes little boys 3 sec. to appear out of nowhere to point and giggle or ask where your “thing” is. Always shut the door and lock it.
#4. Naps? What’s a nap? You know that thing you do laying down or if you’re me, sitting up. Use caution when taking a nap. It is always a bad idea to nap in open areas such as on the couch or worse yet, the floor. Here you will always be in continual sight. This is just asking for, “It”. “It” can mean many things, such as but not limited to, being hit on rear, face, head or any other soft spot. All the while boy shouts, “Wake up Mommy!” in your ear and then taps you on your shoulder repeating, “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! until you respond just for him to ask, “Are you sleeping?” Another nap time misadventure is having paper, food or toys placed over entire body or worse yet, in your hair.
To lessen the risks above, nap in your room with doors closed and if husband is home locked. At some point they WILL come looking for you so if desperate for sleep consider places they would never look such as in the van, attic or wherever their shoes are.
#5. Buy Boys white socks only. There are no such things as pairs in a house full of all boys.
#6. Hide your treats. If you have a favorite treat and it’s something that costs a bit more than other treats or it comes in small quantities, keep it a secret. For example, I love Klondike Bars. Only six come in a pack and they aren’t cheep. I only eat one at night when the kids are sleeping so they don’t even know Klondike’s exist. Be sure all the kids are actually asleep, you wouldn’t want them to walk in on you devouring your special treat. Throw all evidence away and under other trash. Leave no trace of crumb or chocolate smear, not even the smell on your breath. I recommend heavy brushing and flossing. A kid can smell chocolate from miles away.
Hopefully these rules can help all those lone She-Wolves out there or perhaps you would like to add some of your own.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Top 10
ONLY ON SUMMER VACATION...
10. Do I continually say to strangers on behalf of my sons, "I'm sorry."
9. I think about buying a children's leash.
8. the AC is on 24/7
7. Someone else cooks dinner.
6. My toenails get painted hot pink.
5. Parents consider lolly pop's gifts from Heaven.
4. it's okay to buy cheep and cheesy gifts and t-shirts.
3. There is an unspoken agreement of "Don't ask, Don't tell" when it comes to bathroom breaks.
2. Is it excepted to pee in a used coffee cup while driving on the highway.
1. I CAN TAKE A SHOWER EVERY DAY!!!!
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